My boy is ONE!
My baby boy turned one yeaterday and we are still reeling from the excitement. We threw a heck of a party with a lot of help and he was a trooper through the whole thing (except for the too cold ice cream on his hands).
This is my second time making this post cause I zapped out the first one. So far this one looks nothing like the first, which was a mighty fine piece of writing, if I must say so myself. This one is all that is left of my fried out, disappointed brain. ( That was my first blogging experience gone bad).
Well, so anyway my little baby boy is now a year old, and what a year it was! I have gone from that horrible feeling of dread every time my little tyrant cried out in the night, to loving this little man so much it hurts and wondering how I ever existed without him. It took me longer to bond than I thought it would, but suddenly one day when he was about four months old I realized that I not only loved him, but I was for sure IN LOVE with him. That feeling has grown with each passing day and I don’t know how it keeps growing cause it seems like I have no room for any more love in my heart then I realize I love him more.
So, my screaming tyrant rarely screams anymore, but certainly lets me know what he wants. It is amazing what a metamorphasis a baby goes through in a year’s time. He was so helpless and small. Now he is nearly nine inches longer than when he was born and he walks, talks, smiles, dances, sings, and signs. He tells me when he wants a bottle, more food, or to do something again, he even asks for patty cake by doing this funny little hand maneuver and saying “ah cake”. Oh yes, and he is and does “SO BIG”.
However, this mom thing isn’t really all its cracked up to be. I never realized that. I love being a MOM and I love my boy. I would never go back. But, there are a zillion decisions to make every day: “should I let him sleep or wake him?” , “how do I handle when he is hitting” oh, and I put off changing his diaper cause he wiggles and squirms and yells if he’s not ready to have it changed. I use paper more than I ever wanted to cause it’s so hard to put pins in a wiggle worm. Not to mention, this person says he should use a spoon better, so I get him doing better using a spoon, and the next person, says I was way too tough on him, and expected more than any one year old can manage. I give up!
Not on being a mommy, but on being a mommy that everyone will appprove of. No matter what you do as a mom, someone will critique it. I don’t know why I thought I was immune, I have been the critic for years and years. Now I am on the receiving end and that part of it sucks.
I crave approval too, always have, so I figure I spent most of the first year either doing what everyone else said I should do instead of following my own instinct, or defending repeatedly the fact that I did what I thought was best, despite what everyone said.
The moral of the story? Well, that’s easy(to say anyway)……….. I am no longer a new Mom. I have a years worth of experience under my belt. This year I do what I (and Daddy) think is best. Advice is great and sometimes needed and/or wanted, but the end decision is up to us and everyone else will have to live with it.
Lets see if I can live up to what I just said, and be the mother I want to be this year. Good luck to me!
